Holy Yoga for One

I'm a Holy Yoga instructor and I teach two classes a week.  One morning class and one evening class.  I struggle with numbers though.  Lately my classes have had 3-4 people.  I want my classes to be full. I want to share Jesus with as many people as possible.  So, I started praying that God send those to class who needed to be there.  Last Thursday I had 8 people in my class!  Praise!  It was a Holy class.  It was amazing.  

I prayed all weekend for my class on Monday morning.  

Lord, please let the people that need to be there, be there.  This is Your class, let it be what You want it to be.  Amen.

So, this is who showed up for my class on Monday...

Yep, that's my mat (and one of my kids is in the pile to the left).  

I spent the hour on my mat moving, singing, praising.  All for Him.  And you know what?  It was beautiful. He knew exactly who needed to be at that class on Monday.  He knew that I needed that class so much.  He knew that I wouldn't get an hour in on my mat at home.  He knew.

Peace,

Megan

A Broken Heart That's Trying to Heal

A little history...
I wrote this post 5 weeks ago.  I never intended to post it, it's too painful.  It's been laid on my heart to post it.  I've been struggling with this for the last few days, but it's supposed to be out there.  I'm opening my heart.  So I can heal.  Maybe to help others heal.  This is part of what I'm doing with the Holy Yoga Heart Opener Challenge.  #hyheartopenerchallenge

As I sit her on my bed and type this I don't even know if I will ever post it.  I realize I've been missing for a while.  Well, if I'm honest it's just been a really rough few months.  After missing my Holy Yoga training retreat at the end of October it's been a very bumpy road.  I came to terms with missing retreat.  I must not have been ready or something.  So, I decided to go to retreat in Phoenix in April.  I can't wait, it's only five and a half weeks away.  It will be here before I know it.  I have a feeling that this is the retreat that I was supposed to be at all along.  I am going to get some healing there.  Healing from what?

That brings me to December.  I want to have another baby.  My heart longs for it.  I feel like someone is missing in our family.  This feeling only got stronger after my miscarriage in June 2011.  In December I prayed and prayed that if we were supposed to have another baby, that it please happen.  Please Lord, make this happen.  I was also feeling called to the the Pre/Post Natal Holy Yoga training that was going to start in January and wanted a real obvious reason to start that.  Well, on December 23 I got an answer.  I was pregnant!  We were getting our third baby... finally!  And I was going to do the training.

I was thrilled to be pregnant again, even if my morning sickness was lasting all day long.  I hadn't ever experienced this, but it was worth it.  On January 29th I went in for my first prenatal appointment.  My mom came with me so she could hear the baby's heartbeat.  My in-laws were watching the boys.  We couldn't find the heartbeat, so my midwife sent me to have an ultrasound.  After starting the ultrasound the tech said, "I'm so sorry, there's no heartbeat."  I'm bawling my eyes out.  why... Why... WHY?  Why is this happening again?  My mom is just rubbing my hand, staying close to me, trying to comfort me.  I called Beau and choked out the words "We lost another one, there's no heartbeat."

My mom and I went back up to meet with my midwife.  They both consoled me, hugged me, loved on me.  Then my midwife explained what happened.  I had a blighted ovum.  An egg was fertilzed, implanted and started to grow.  But, because of a chromosomal abnormality and embryo never formed.  It stopped growing two and a half weeks earlier, but I was still having pregnancy symptoms. My body still thought it was pregnant.  We scheduled an appointment to meet with an OB two days later to discuss our options.  We decided to do a d&c to remove the tissue.  Surgery was scheduled for the next day.

So, let me recap the week for you.
Monday- pregnant
Tuesday- 1st prenatal appointment, found out I miscarried
Wednesday- day at home
Thursday- meet with OB
Friday- surgery

Yeah, I would say that my world was sufficiently turned upside down that week.  I had moments that week where the burden was so heavy, I couldn't stand.  I felt like a pile of mush, a puddle on the floor.  I have amazing family and friends that came up along us and helped out, prayed and listened.  I thank God for putting that support into place.  I couldn't have made it through without the support.

So, here I am writing this a month after my surgery.  My body still thinks I'm pregnant.  My hcG levels still aren't back to normal.  I still ache for the babies I've lost.  I still feel like someone is missing.

For lent I decided to add something to my daily routine rather than take something away.  I decided I would do Holy Yoga every day.  Now, I haven't done it every day, but it's been close.  Almost two weeks ago I got on my mat and prayed.

Lord, I'm so lost right now.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't feel like I know anything.

Please tell me what you want from me.

What direction do you want me to go?

Amen

I didn't like the answer I got.  This is what I heard.  It was a whisper in my heart.

Sacrifice your third child and birth my ministry

WHAT?!?!?!?!  I knew exactly what He meant.  He meant it's time.  It's time to put my wants and needs aside and do what He's called me to do.  To start up the Holy Yoga Ministry at Messiah UMC.  So, after much prayer, tears, bargaining (never another child or just on hold), discernment and more prayer I am going to do just that.  I am doing what He has called me to do.  As painful as it is to put aside what I want.  I know this is best.  Best for me and for my family.

Found this one on the Rev Wellness facebook page this week... so true!

Friends, I still ache.  The pain of losing two babies will always be with me... even if we have another baby someday.  I just remember this verse.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Blessings,
Megan

Excitement

It's 12:15am and I just finished working for the day.  We've been really busy around here and I should head to bed, but I felt called to sit and write for a minute.  I need to write about my excitement!  I am so excited I can hardly contain myself.  Do you ever feel like this?

My excitement comes from Jesus!  Specifically about Holy Yoga.  More fell into place in the last few days.  I found out that I got a $500 scholarship from Holy Yoga to help cover the cost of training.  My training manual shipped today... I will have it on Monday!  I didn't think this would ship until July :).  I ordered the rest of my books (three of them, I already have one) for training this afternoon and one of them already shipped.  My plan is to ready these four books in May and June so I can focus on reading my training manual come July 12th (when I start Holy Yoga training).

I'm so excited for this next chapter in life.  I can't wait to see what it brings and where it's going to take me!  I hope to share my journey with you along the way.  

I know this was a bit of a ramble, so thanks for reading it.

Blessings,

Megan

It's Official

I officially registered to become a Holy Yoga instructor today!  I can't believe it!  I feel like it's been such a long journey to get here.  I know it's only been since January, but there have been so many bumps in the road it feels like much longer.  I've overcome most of those bumps and handed the rest of them over to God.  He can deal with them, I'm going to be still.  

The Lord with fight for you; you need only to be still.  Exodus 14:14

As excited as I am I know that this now means that come July 12th, life will get very busy (as if it's not busy enough already).  This is probably when I'm going to wonder what I was thinking.  How am I going to work 15-18 hours of school per week into my life?  I know it will happen, with much prayer, patience, listening to God's will and scheduling.  

You might be missing me on Facebook during that time :).   

Want to check out what Holy Yoga is all about?  Come with me to a class!  I'll be at Colonial Church in Edina at 7:00pm tomorrow.  Can't make it tomorrow, click here to see a schedule for all the classes in the Twin Cities.  

Blessings,

Megan

I did it. . .

I took a leap of faith on Wednesday and sent my questionnaire into Holy Yoga and set up my phone interview for Thursday, February 16th at 2:40pm (prayers please).  I still don't have everything figured out, but after all of the things that have happened in the last week God was definitely telling me it was time to get moving and continue to trust in Him.  

What happened this past week?  

I've had offers from people to help with my kids during immersion and retreat (a total of 10 weeks combined),  my pastor supports this ministry in my church (this is HUGE), my family and friends are supporting me through prayer and some financial support has been received.  

(source)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight"  (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

I look forward to sharing Jesus through Holy Yoga with you all! 

Megan

Dreams

I originally went to Holy Yoga to get some yoga for cheap and get some me time.  I didn't expect to find Jesus there.  I know that sounds crazy... it is called HOLY Yoga!  It truly has sparked something in me and I want more.  More Holy Yoga, more worship time, more Jesus!

My last post was about me feeling called to become a Holy Yoga instructor.  I thought I would share a little update with you.  In the Holy Yoga class I went to on Saturday morning I had a vision of myself teaching holy yoga at my church in the lakeside room overlooking the lake.  My mom asked me if I was 31 or 32 in my vision (trying to figure out when I'm supposed to go through the Holy Yoga immersion and retreat).  Ha ha!  I told her my vision wasn't that specific :).  I very strongly feel that this is what God is calling me to do, to be able to share Jesus and my faith thru Holy Yoga.  If it's right God will provide me with everything I need!

(source)

I am doing the Love Dare as a study right now and this was in my reading this morning... 

"As you walk with God, He will put dreams in your heart that He wants to fulfill in your life.  He will also put skills and abilities in your heart that He wants to develop for His glory (Exodus 35:30-35).  He will give you the desire to give (2 Corinthians 9:7) and to worship (Ephesians 5:19).  As you put God first, He will step in and fulfill the good desires of your heart." (page 211 in The Love Dare)

I find it amazing that the studies I'm doing (that have nothing to do with Holy Yoga) always seem to touch my heart and tell me this is right, to keep praying about it and to move forward.  

At my study on Wednesday night we talked about Mark 12:30...  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind 

and with all your strength. (Mark 12:30)

That is the verse I talked about in this post.  It keeps weaving it's way into my life.  

It's a God thing!  There is no other way to explain it!

I thought I would share the verses from the Love Dare study with you too... 

Exodus 35:31 (NIV) 

 and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills

2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV)

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Ephesians 5:19 (NIV)

speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord

My prayer for you today is that you allow God to put dreams in your heart!

Megan