Stuck and Freedom

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months where you just feel stuck?  That's where I am right now.  It's where God has asked me to be, but it's not where I want to be.  He doesn't want me to feel stuck, He wants me to lean into Him for strength.  I want to go off and do great and exciting things, but He wants me here.  And He wants me to find joy here.  I am here to do what He has planned for me, and my life.  I struggle with following His directions when it's so the opposite of what I want to be doing.

But I remind myself of this...
He can see the big picture.  I can't.  He knows what's best for me, I only think I do.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I've been here for about a month.  Not doing what I want to be doing, but trying my hardest to lean into Him and what He's called me to do: minister to my family.  Fully jump into everything.  And do it with love.  Even the small stuff like cleaning up spilled milk and fixing broken toys.

As a stay at home mom sometimes it doesn't always feel like I'm doing great things.  Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in the mundane.  I don't always like dealing with the meltdowns, laundry, dishes and arguments.  But then I'm reminded that the most important thing I get to do with my kids is share Jesus with them.  It's a choice I get to make.  It's not something I have to do.  I GET TO share the LOVE of Christ with my kids.  I show His love through all of my actions.  That's wiping tears, helping with homework, packing snacks, making dinner, helping make beds, washing clothes, being patient, everything.  When I do all of those things in love, it shows.  When I do all of those things while leaning into Him, it shows.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28 NIV

I'm not saying it's easy.  By no means is it easy.  It's a daily hourly every minute surrender.  Over and over each and every day.  Sometimes I don't surrender to Him and life gets harder.  The days feel like a constant battle.  Those are the days I feel stuck.  Those are the days I feel out of control.

JJ Heller has a song called Loved.  My favorite lines from the song come from the bridge.
Freedom comes in letting go
Open up the window to your heart
Freedom comes in letting go
Open up your heart

It's so true.  When I let go of my expectations and lean into His will, His Word, His plans I feel free.  I realize that I'm not stuck.  That I am doing great things.  That am I doing one of the greatest things of all... sharing Christ with my family.  And I'm finding joy in doing it.  I feel freedom because I've let go.

Peace,
Megan

3 Minutes

Waiting for the Como Zoo shuttle to pick us up.  My two are in the middle.
Picture taken by Kate.

Today the boys and I headed to Como Zoo with some friends.  We were almost done and checking out the orangutans.  Myles was with the two bigger boys and then they came over by us and Myles was standing by himself (like 2 people away... I could see him).  I felt a little nudge that I should have him come over with us, but didn't listen to it because he wasn't that far away.  I should have listened.

We were ready to go and there was NO MYLES!  He wasn't near the orangutans.  He wasn't anywhere within sight.

Have you ever had that moment?  That moment when you can't find one of your kids?  It's terrifying.

Barrett went with my friend and her two boys and I ran the other direction screaming Myles' name at the top of my lungs.  The tears were there.  Where was my little boy?  Someone asked me what he was wearing and I rattled it off and kept running.  Praying.  Please God, let him be ok.  Let me find him.

Then, up ahead there he was.  He turned around.  Tears streaming down his face.  Jumping up and down.  He thought we left him at the orangutan exhibit and he went to find us.

I've never been happier to hug my child.  To know that God kept him safe.  Kept him from any harm.  Praise God!

It was only 3 minutes, but it was the longest 3 minutes of my life.  And 3 minutes that I had no control and had to lean into Him for strength.  Praise.  Jesus.

Enter the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:3-6)
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 

Just as I rejoiced when I found Myles, He rejoices when you come home.

Peace,
Megan

Oh, and listen to that inner voice (Holy Spirit).  It might be telling you something you really need to hear.