Friday, July 12, 2013

Let Me Be Honest

After reading the post at She Breathes Deeply today I wanted to had to write this.

I don't want to be one of those people who come across like I "have it all together."  I don't.  I'm a mess.  I'm a work in progress.  I have to surrender to Him over and over every day.  I make mistakes constantly and I don't ever finish everything I want to get done.

You would think it would be a little easier to get things done around here.  I have two kids that can entertain themselves (and the puppy) for a little while.

I have a kitchen that's a disaster (and waiting for my husband to conquer).

I have clean laundry piled up all around me (dirty too, don't let the clean piles fool you).

I have a puppy that thinks ALL of her toys need to be out (I'm pretty sure the boys help her too).

But.  Yep, there's a BUT.  God didn't call me to be a great housekeeper, clothes washer, dish cleaner.  I'm learning to let those go and try to do what He's called me to do.

He called me to follow Him.  Some days it's easier to get my time in with Him.  Some days, it falls to the side and I have guilt.  It's about surrender, constant surrender.  Over and over each and every day.

He called me to be a wife,

a mom,

a Holy Yoga Instructor.

Most days I still don't feel adequate for what He's called me to do, to be.  But, I'm trusting that He's got my life.  He's got me, my husband, my kids.  He's got everything and I just need to trust.  And breathe.


Monday, July 1, 2013

3 Minutes

Waiting for the Como Zoo shuttle to pick us up.  My two are in the middle.
Picture taken by Kate.

Today the boys and I headed to Como Zoo with some friends.  We were almost done and checking out the orangutans.  Myles was with the two bigger boys and then they came over by us and Myles was standing by himself (like 2 people away... I could see him).  I felt a little nudge that I should have him come over with us, but didn't listen to it because he wasn't that far away.  I should have listened.

We were ready to go and there was NO MYLES!  He wasn't near the orangutans.  He wasn't anywhere within sight.

Have you ever had that moment?  That moment when you can't find one of your kids?  It's terrifying.

Barrett went with my friend and her two boys and I ran the other direction screaming Myles' name at the top of my lungs.  The tears were there.  Where was my little boy?  Someone asked me what he was wearing and I rattled it off and kept running.  Praying.  Please God, let him be ok.  Let me find him.

Then, up ahead there he was.  He turned around.  Tears streaming down his face.  Jumping up and down.  He thought we left him at the orangutan exhibit and he went to find us.

I've never been happier to hug my child.  To know that God kept him safe.  Kept him from any harm.  Praise God!

It was only 3 minutes, but it was the longest 3 minutes of my life.  And 3 minutes that I had no control and had to lean into Him for strength.  Praise.  Jesus.

Enter the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:3-6)
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 

Just as I rejoiced when I found Myles, He rejoices when you come home.


Oh, and listen to that inner voice (Holy Spirit).  It might be telling you something you really need to hear.