Walls

I started my Holy Yoga practice the other morning with the intent of surrender.  A few nights ago Beau gave me some news.  I knew what he told me already, but to hear it spoken out loud is different.  The news could possibly be a big change for us.  I don't do change well.

I also just started reading Hinds Feet On High Places.  It's a book about total surrender to God.  God is with you through the trenches, in the lowest of the low.  If you fully trust in Him, fully surrender, He'll take you to the high places.

I approach everything with caution (aka fear).  I'm afraid of being fully open, too vulnerable.  It's too much for me.  I've spent my entire life building up walls of protection around myself.  This is so I don't have to feel the pain, the hurt of life.

What have my walls done for me?  Nothing!

Have I released the pain from my past?  No!

All of the pain and hurt from my life is stuck inside the walls around my heart.  The walls that I put there.  They are the walls that He wants to tear down.  But, He doesn't want to take a wrecking ball to my walls.  That would be too fast and we (He and I) wouldn't be able to work through each piece.  Some of it would get lost in the rubble.  He wants to take my walls down one brick at a time.

ONE. BRICK . AT. A. TIME.

That's going to take a long time.  He wants to put that much work into me.  He would do it for anyone.  I need to feel each and every brick.  To feel the weight of them and let them go.  One at a time.  Releasing them to Him.

(Insert big sigh...)

It won't be easy and I can't do it alone.  I'm glad that He'll be there with me every brick along the way.  I need Him.  I need His strength, because I'm tired just thinking about the work ahead.  I'm still trying to fully surrender to this process.  It's hard.  But, He is on my side.

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Blessings,

Megan

Sexual Intimacy {MUMC Sermon Series on Marriage}

This was so well done.  Watch it and then share it with your kids.  My kids were in the service for this.

Sexual Intimacy

Blessings,
Megan

What He Wants, What She Wants {MUMC Sermon Series on Marriage}

As promised, here's the second sermon in the series.

What He Wants, What She Wants

Blessings,
Megan

More Than A Contract {MUMC Sermon Series on Marriage}

Marriage is hard.  Relationships are hard.  My pastor just started a 6 part sermon series on marriage.  I'm going to share them on here because they're worth sharing.  Take the 20 minutes and listen each week.  You won't regret it... I promise.

More Than A Contract

Blessings,
Megan

The Mondays

Today I have a case of the Mondays.  We had this wonderful weekend.  Beau didn't have to work on Saturday and the weather was nice enough yesterday that we spent the whole afternoon outside.  Doing yard work, playing, just being us.  I thank God for the beautiful weekend, but today is Monday.

Monday means that I don't have my husband around to help me with everything; making food, prepping backpacks for school, taking care of the puppy, doctors appointments, nap-time meltdowns.  Then it struck me... at least I have his help when he is home.  I think of the single parents and the parents that don't get help from their spouse.  God has blessed me so much to have this wonderful relationship with Beau where we can rely on each other for help.  He stays patient when I'm not and vice versa.  It's a beautiful thing this relationship that God gave us.

Here's the thing about Monday though.  We're not alone.  We still have someone to lean into.  He was there the whole weekend.  He's there all the time.  He never leaves my side (or yours).  God is always with us there to help us through whatever Monday throws at us.

But.

Why do I allow that but to rear it's ugly face into my day?  Into my life?  Why can't I just lean into Him and accept His grace on this Monday?

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. 

(Joshua 1:9)

That's right.  He's with me, with you, not matter what.

Blessings,
Megan

His Plans {Holy Yoga Message}

You may recognize this picture from this post or from seeing this labyrinth at the Holy Yoga retreat in April at Spirit in the Desert .  

Do you stumble through life trying to keep control, but knowing that if you gave up control to Him it would be so much greater than anything you could imagine?  That's me... join the club.  It's not a club I want to be in, but I'm human.  I make mistakes.  I try to surrender and it's hard.  It give into fear and hold on to control. I'm learning that when I do let go it truly is so much better.  His plans are always better and greater than the plans that I think are good for me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (emphasis mine)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Friends He doesn't want to harm us.  He wants to prosper us, give us hope and a future.  What do we have to do?  Call on Him and pray to Him and He will listen.  He will listen to our prayers, the desires of our hearts.  He will show us where He wants us to go.  What path he wants us to take.  Trust Him.

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

It is His purpose that will prevail.  Ask Him what His purpose, His plan is for you.

Psalm 119:105

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

His Word lights our paths.  We need to read it, digest it in our souls.  When we're lost or confused it's what He's given us to look to for answers.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

Trust.  Surrender.  Sacrifice your life to Him.  Daily.  Hourly.  He is there for you and He wants to help you. You have to let Him help you.  He won't help without your permission.  

Our job is to focus on the present, not in the past or the future.  Be here with God in the moment.  He's forgiven our past and He has the future in His hands.  Trust in Him.  We're on His path.

Blessings,

Megan

My Very Special Person - A Guest Post

I am so thrilled to see how God is at work in our lives.  I got an email this morning from my "very special person" from this post.  She wanted to share a little more about her story, how our paths crossed at Holy Yoga retreat, and what God is doing with her since retreat.  So, I introduce LJ.  My sweet friend that God brought me in my time of need.

I feel as though I need to add my story to Megan's, because I am "the very special person...[who] knew exactly what [she] was going through."  Megan's story is moving and my story is moving, but the way our stories connect is amazing and shows just how truly awesome our God is.

Three days before Megan's miscarriage, my husband and I lost our first baby.  God showed me, shortly after it happened, that I would be asked to share my experience with others so that He could love people through me.  This was a hard revelation because it was not something I wanted to discuss, even though I wanted to be used by Him to help people.

Megan was in my small group at the Holy Yoga retreat.  She shared her testimony with us--her struggles with losing her two babies--and I felt God urging me to enter into her grief and walk alongside her.  I refused.  Too vulnerable.  Too scary.  During meditation the next morning, God STRONGLY nudged me (more of a shove, really) to share my story and my pain with Megan.  I wrestled with it for a while, but finally submitted and we began a week-long process of healing together. He turned our mourning into joy and our sorrow into gladness (Jer 31:13)

I came home from Arizona perfectly contented to let the story end there and sing God's praises, for "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Ps 147:3).  But God had bigger plans. My pastor pulled me aside in church and asked if I would speak to a new believer who just lost her baby.  He said he knew that we were keeping it to ourselves, but this woman needs to talk to someone who has been through it and so I came to mind. "I didn't know...is this too soon?"

Not a moment too soon!  A week ago, I would not have been ready, but by God's grace and for His glory, He gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it in order to be equipped to do the work He has for me to do--work that only I can do BECAUSE of my pain here on this earth; my submission to and trust in God's higher plan for my pain; and God's provision, comfort, and love through it all. Isn't that the message of the cross?

I just wanted to share that because Megan was as much a part of my healing process as I was part of hers, and I just think it's incredible how God brought two strangers together who shared the same pain and healed them through the fellowship they share in Christ.  How great is our God!

LJ

God is so good people!  Do you see it?  Do you see how He brings us the people we need?  Are you open to it?

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. (John 10:27-28)

Blessings,

Megan